These short days that are long...

Without so much as blinking my eyes, it has been a bit more than 2 months since I came back from Sydney. I also discovered that it's increasingly difficult to put a perspective on the length of the duration which I've been here. It definitely has been a significant amount of time given that I'm starting to get a little edgy like someone trying kick an addiction cold turkey. Already self-exiled myself to sleeping on the couch (which I think won't last much longer as the nights are getting hotter and hotter and the air-con sounds sweeter and sweeter), I really am not sure what's next. There's no telling when and what is happening to me on any given day.

These days that are getting me more and more confused. Days that feel so long with so much to do but when I look back, there's really not much that I can remember, something that happens when you feel that the days are really short. Like I'm blacking out everyday. It's a surreal feeling with a lot of reality. Feels like I live a conscious life while being unconscious, or the other way around.

Most days I can brush these feelings off with jokes and light stuff or work, some days I just implode. I'm also taking weekends off. It has been almost 3 weekends that I find myself naturally NOT working on the weekends. Something that hasn't happened since I came back last September. I think my mind and body is finally taking charge over my stubbornness in certain area.

I suspect that the major reason of my recent weird behaviour other than I'm been without the Sydney oxygen for 2 months is that because things are really moving very very fast around me. I'm trying my best to keep my head above water. The best I've achieved so far is to have it right at my head and if I stop clearing it, it will soon be above again. Maybe that's why I just naturally stopped working so much on the weekends because I wanna catch a breath at any cost.

I know I can do it, it's mostly just temporary. I'm confident I'll come out high and dry in the end. However, like everyone in the midst of it, we all whine and bitch about it, making a big deal out of it when it's really just peas. For the moment, I find myself clinging to old ways more when I really should be moving forward. To have bigger, greater, grander vision. To stand taller, higher, stronger. To do better, and be better. This, is just a bottleneck now.

Alright, enough of my whining and bitching about nothing. Now that it's off my chest a bit, it'll get me going for another week or so. For now I'm happy. For now I'm grateful to all the people around me and I'm thankful of all the help I get. I'm doing something I like, making money out of it, I love my family and I'm happy :D))

On another note, it has been a bit more than a week since Stella left for Europe. I got an email from her last night and I'm over the moon happy to hear from her. How I miss her and her mad mad sanity. Maybe that's why I'm growing increasingly insane...(yes blame it on those traveling in Europe is always the best idea hehe :P)

Went and did some shopping few days ago. Went again yesterday with my sister who ended up spending mad at Mexx. She wore the "Celina" necklace I gave her as her 21st present for the first time. She looked great with it and I suspect part of the reason why she bought so many outfits is due to the necklace. Everything seems to look better with it on :)

My father, who has been the hot and controversial topic around the house lately, has finally agreed to come back and work in the south from June on. I honestly hope he keeps his promise this time. Toleration can only be extended so much. Certain memories and knowledge can only be suppressed for so long.

Oh, been sick for like the hundred millionth time this week. Coughing bad and all. Fever ran for 4 days last weekend. It is really gonna take a while for my body to be in tune with this place. Or is the sign of my body rejecting this place telling me something? Wow, ok, I better stop before I sound more like Carrie Bradshaw... Which will be SCARY!!!

Cel at work has so far seen one local TV actor, Jacky Chan, and Zhang Ai Jia. Quite exciting. I'm making it mandatory for her to bring her camera to work from now on... heh... :)